The concept of ‘worth’ is so fundamental to our daily lives that it’s hard sometimes to regard it dispassionately. In ancient times, the most valuable things in the world were food, shelter, and safety—things that ensured our survival. Nowadays, our survival instinct has become a debilitating disease that shows up in stress-related disorders experienced even by young children. Ironically, stress about financial security is the most common in the richest country in the world. Of course our logical brain knows that pent-up worry and anxiety of ‘do I have enough’ or ‘will I have enough’ is nonsense, and yet we still experiences the stress, because it hasn’t shown up as a lion, for example, that then goes away. It remains constant, in bills, news, competition, and set-backs. It’s like a hungry lion staring at us through our window. No wonder we’re stressed! But we can decide to be free of it. We can choose what we value and what something is worth to us. We don’t have to be at the mercy of cultural or social norms regarding safety and security. When we begin to assess the value of things in the world through our own lens, and not the lens of anyone else, we also regard our own self-value with a deepening regard. Isn’t self-worth the most important thing? Don’t we try to teach our children to respect themselves, to stand up for themselves, to love themselves? As adults we work hard to do this for other people, but we’re so worried about the hungry lion at our window that we forget how to value ourselves. Value goes much deeper than ‘what is a certain coin worth’ or ‘how many beads do I get for that.’ Our self-value is the ground we walk on, and that’s how we truly feel safe and secure. So when you’re feeling stressed, practice reminding yourself that you are safe and secure right now. Feel yourself grounded and protected, wherever you are—make a conscious effort to wiggle your fingers and toes and feel the ground solidly under your feel. Then ask yourself what matters most to you. Love? Joy? A lover? A child? A song? Allow your reflexive ‘fight-or-flight’ part of your brain to slow down by thinking about what gives you pleasure and peace. Choose to focus on what you value. Don’t stress about how much something costs—see it as the valuable exchange that it truly is. Trust your intuition about what something is worth, because all you can really know is what it is worth to you.
