Don’t get caught up in the idea that your past is like an old ruin. Or that relationships or endeavors that ended are failures. Or that you irretrievably “lost” someone who died. Regard it all more as movement and experience. Here’s a great practice to do before you fall asleep at night: Soar backward over your day, swooping gently around each activity, task, conversation, or feeling. Lightly circle back through the hours till you reach the one in which you awoke. Don’t be fiercely trying to recall every detail and don’t judge a single aspect of your day. Just observe it and keep moving. You’ll sleep much better! This is also a great way to look at past holidays, or a year of your life, or what you might think was a failed relationship or a lousy career decision. Who’s to say what it was? Some relationships are meant to be exactly what they turn out to be, and are complete in and of themselves. Why do we think they ought to be more long-lasting or any different? And maybe that career decision catapulted you into a new direction that was much more fulfilling. Don’t judge hard times as being right or wrong. Don’t consider the past to be good or bad. Don’t imagine that things you did were either wise or stupid. Sometimes we don’t know why we do the things we do, but there may be something wiser in us that does know.
