A friend remembers visiting us as a young boy and my mother handing him a glass of milk. Being a bit clumsy, he dropped the glass, tensed his neck, and waited for the blow to his head that typically followed in his family. Instead, he recalls my mother’s pleasant voice reassuring him, “Don’t worry, we can make you another one.” Fifty years have passed since then, and he still remembers that moment with a startling stab of gratitude. No swipe over his head could have impacted him so deeply. In an instant he realized that it didn’t matter whether or not the milk was spilled; what mattered was how he felt about it. He saw there were far more than ways to react to what was typically seen in his family as, at best, stupid, at worst, a disaster. Regard the times you spill as moments of awakening instead of embarrassment. Instead of rushing through the experience, and trying to catch up on the time it took to mop up, slow down. Instead of beating yourself up, pat yourself comfortingly on your shoulder. Heal a part of your child-self who once did something that was considered foolish or you were ashamed of. Maybe you don’t even remember it. But you always did the best you could, dear friend, and, after all, you were a child! When you spill something now, or make what appears to be a mistake, or you say something you wish unsaid, instead of tensing for the blow, smile reassuringly into your soul. Be kind to yourself. Hear that friendly inner voice reassuring you that there will always be another opportunity, another day to try again, a fresh glass of milk to pour.
