The wise philosopher Seneca once said: “A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party: there is no battle unless there be two.” This adage does not only apply to people, but to any obstacle in our lives. When we fiercely engage with what confronts us, whether it’s a thought, a feeling, a friend, or an action plan, the engagement can turn into battle. That’s because when we try to have power over the situation, we give it more power. That’s the nature of energy. But when we decide to retreat from the situation, we disentangle ourselves from that wrestling for power. Retreating means moving through the obstacle in a different way, to reflect on a different perspective, or to consider another plan of action, perhaps one we hadn’t thought of before. It’s about pausing to find a different way toward our ultimate success instead of trying to meet it head-on.
There’s a particularly beautiful I-Ching hexagram called “Retreat” or Tun. It’s number 33 and it reminds me of the Hanged Man in the tarot. The Hanged Man advises us to gently to change our perspective about our current reality. He shows up when we’re not in control of the situation we find ourselves in. If we’re caught in the snare of a traffic jam, there’s nothing we can do except to change our mind about it: we can give up on the idea that we’ll be home in time for dinner and instead listen to music or talk to a friend on the phone. We are asked to Retreat from the jam itself: to disengage from it. If we don’t, we may find ourselves in a helpless, hopeless morass of sticky rage.
In the same way, the guidance of Tun in the I-Ching is not about stalking off in anger and frustration but walking away quietly. Imagine a stream gently flowing around a sharp rock in its path rather than dashing itself against it. When you retreat into your own sanctuary of stillness, you separate yourself from the entanglements of your situation. You realize you are not all-powerful. You are not in control. And you don’t have to be! You realize that it’s not all up to you! Surrender to peace. Retreat into stillness and you’ll discover synchronicity, clarity, and calm.